Aspirations of the Mind

I haven't written in a while, and I have a good ten minutes until I have to listen intently, so I thought now would be as good a time as ever to update everyone or no one.

The last week or so has been quite the roller coaster. I got sick last week and went home for the weekend. It was wonderful to be home. Home is quiet. Home is peaceful. I love going home. It was a refreshing few days that flew by. It was so nice to REST. I never intentionally relax and this week I've really started taking advantage of resting.

God created rest. He knows that our minds and bodies can only take so much and I for one feel almost burnt out.

And school has been frustrating. It's like I can't quite understand the material and everything won't click. But once again, I've begun learning another lesson on identity. My identity is not in school. It's not in my vocation. It's not in my grades. It's not in what school I have chosen to go to.

My identity is solely in Christ alone.

Which brings me to my next point.

Every Thursday morning a friend and I have coffee and meet together for a couple hours to hold each other accountable, pray, and be in the Word. It's wonderful! I love it. I've realized the beauty of getting into the Word with others and how beautiful that really is!

We read 1 Corinthians chapter 1. Here's a section of the text that really spoke directly to me. ..

"Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

When reading this, it probably is mostly self-explanatory. Right? But what's comforting and beautiful is the fact that God uses those who are WEAK to shame the STRONG. I'm not saying this in a condoning way. Not at all. My point is probably an obvious one, but I'll try and explain it in "Lauren terms."

Being at Cornerstone is far from easy. It's tough. It's frustrating. Everyone has such good ideas and everyone seems so intelligent and their good at school. I have always had troubles concerning school and such. It's difficult. A majority of American teenagers and early twenties lives is school.

Some days I feel like I"m here to fill space. Like, I don't really have a gift. I'm not good at anything. And that's hard. I feel inferior and so dumb at times. I get so down on myself.

But reading that verse this morning and stopping and digging into it, was SO good. If anything, I believe God will use my weakness in school for His GLORY.

And that, that is comforting. That brings me a great sense of peace.

Until next time.