He's doing a new thing. So we are singing a New Song.

It has been quite the day. No quite the month. It's been quite the last five weeks. It's like every day God continually throws these life altering truths at me that strip me of what I always believed. It's amazing. It's hard. It's good.

Today even, God has blown me away! Besides a beautiful morning with my Love I had evangelism and discipleship class. I know evangelism and discipleship is about the person you are witnessing too, but God has been using the material and lectures and discussions in this class to correct my views. One thing that was said was, "A person's prayer life often reflects their view of God or the gospel." I was like, YES YES YES! No wonder my prayer life is so crazy messed up and me centered!!!! (YAY for revelations!!!). These walls and world views are being stripped from me. I always had the mindset that God exists for me and He will meet EVERY single need of mine. That is how I grew up. When God didn't meet that need or give me what i wanted, I questioned my faith. There was no consistency.

Truth: God DOES NOT exist for me. In fact He could zap me right now. I could stop breathing. I am breathing because God wills it that way.

I exist for God. I exist to bring Him glory. I exist to magnify His holy righteous beautiful name. That is all. In my day to day life I am called to love Him with everything I've got.

I was talking to a friend this morning and as I was talking I had another revelation.

If Jesus were to come to me physically tonight and looked me in the eyes, would I be able to tell him that in everything I did today I brought His name alone glory?

That blew me away completely! Crazy! And of course, the cost of discipleship. That's also been hitting me super hard today. Here it is: I am nothing. I am nothing without Christ. Every minute of every day I need His humility. I am weak. I have nothing! Christ calls us to drop everything. To kill it. To kill the flesh. Take up our crosses every day and go to our death. To starve the flesh.

This is what is not being preached in the pulpits. Christ demands our all. ALL. Christ is the best thing. He is worth it. In that, I have lost friends. In that I have given up sleep. In that I have no money. In that I have given up what this world has to offer. I'm not all there yet. It's tough. Some days are easier, some are harder. Yet it's worth it. Christ bids us come and die. Kill the desires of the flesh. kill the sin in you. He is doing a new thing. He says, "the old has gone, the new has come."

When I am weak, then He is strong. He is Jesus.

And that's as far as I've gotten really. I've come to realize so much in the past few hours. I wonder what the rest of today will hold?