We are the outsiders.

Four more days of Spring Break and then it's back to the daily grind or normality and academia. This week has been hard. I wouldn't even dare to label it as good. It was blah. How is it that you can go from a week of blue skies, sunshine, and joy? To gray skies, a heavy heart, and pain. I just don't know, except to say we are all very much human. I haven't conquered my emotions yet. They all still have a tight reign on my heart. It's just these walls have taken my heart hostage. I don't like it, and yet something holds me back from fighting. I just feel weak. I feel this urge to break free and just run the other way and never look back. I''ve begun to build these walls and it feels like they aren't going to come down ever. It almost seems hopeless. I'm tired of how I live my life. Yes, it's true, some random outsiders probably would deem me as normal and the average twenty year old college student who has pretty good grades and is put together and loves God. That's ridiculous! I'm tired of my frivolous lifestyle. It's so lukewarm and average. It's like my spirit is fighting against flesh. So, who's going to win?