You said, "Go."

I have to go. The signs and visions are clearly sewn in the tapestry of my life. For some reason I'm chained to the ground. Why? Why is it that I have felt this call for seven years and I get to this point and I can't walk? What are my intentions? I have these thoughts that are continuously gnawing at me. I have these invisible voices telling me that I can't do it. That I am not equipped. That I would be a complete failure again.

When will I finally stand up out of the mire and mud and run with everything and jump of the cliff of routine and institution and jump and free-fall into the unknown? When I will finally be brave enough to stand up for myself and my faith and say no to normalcy and the like?

I'm sorry Chelsie, but I have to use one of your numerous, brilliant analogies. Yes world, Chelsie is a brilliant writer and she is just brilliant in and of itself.

She uses this amazing analogy of a caged bird and life. She equates life at this moment to a caged bird who just wants to sing and make beautiful music, but instead is chained in the cage to all things average. The bird just wants to get out. It doesn't want to be the normal bird on the normal path: eating, sleeping, and chirping to get out. All in a cage. The bird wants to fly freely and go to far away places where dreams meet destiny. Where hopes meet purpose. Where the little caged birdy is fulfilled.

You possibly could equate that to me. I feel as if the status quo is that of going to school. The days include waking up, spending way to long on your makeup, going to class, eating, sleeping, watching T.V., spending way to long on your homework, and going to bed. While, eating, sleeping, and school may be good for some, I don't think it is where God is calling me.

Only one word echoes itself over and over: Zambia. I have grown up very, very privelaged. Our family has always had money and we've never sought to get food. Everything has always been right at our hands. And, America is great. It is a land of opportunity, education, and knowledge. But there a lot of flaws in the system. See, I can't sit here typing on this computer for four more years. I can't just sit here in this purgatory waiting to go out and change the world. I can't. And, I won't. I'm throwing the system to the ground. This call, this deep call that goes all the way to my core has been radiating through me for seven years. How can I ignore it? In the grand scheme of things, is education going to matter. Like I said, I am very privelaged for some reason. It's time, after twenty years of money and privelage, it is time I step out of my comfort zone and go. What scares me is that this is against everything. I mean both my parents went to college and graduated. They have fancy degrees. In America, its graduate from highschool, go to college, graduate, marriage, have babies, work, play, retire, go to Florida and play golf (which by the way, I learned something last night. I learned that if everyone in America who plays golf would give it up, that would end world hunger.) Dude, golf, or humanity? I can't believe I have to even type that. It's an atrocious reality.

I know that lifestyle is not everyone, but that is just how I personally have perceived American education and life basically to be.

Now the question is, will I have the courage to stand up to opinion and status quo and GO?

I hope I make the right decision.