HOPE

Right now my heart hurts. The only thing I can think to do in the moment is pray and worship and write.

This morning was Derek and Dylan's funeral. It broke me. It made me feel things inside that I didn't even think existed.

I really don't even know what to write, except the same thing I wrote a few days ago.

Derek's life is causing people all over to stop and evaluate their lives and how they are living. He is causing people to run hard and fast. To run this race, focusing our ever wandering eyes on the face of Jesus.

Like, this changes absolutely everything.

I can't just go to youth group tonight the same. I can't just go pour myself out on those teens half heartedly. I want to go fast and hard. Because life is short.

About a month ago I was at Starbucks with a friend and we walk in. Towards the back there are a few people from Crossroads and one of them is Derek.

I was thinking that Derek didn't know he was going to die about a month later. Yet he still ran the race faster and harder and faster and harder.

I don't know when I am going to die. You don't know when you are going to die. Doesn't it make sense to throw our lives into Christ who is the HOPE of the world?

It make perfect sense. This last week or so I have realized how fragile life is. I have realized how broken I am. How in need of Grace I am.

From what I have heard, Derek's message was "repent for the kingdom of heaven is near. Repent and turn away from your sin."

I have realized the fullness of Christ. In Him is LIFE. In HIM there is LIGHT. He is the light. He is life. In Christ there is no death. There is no darkness. He is holy and sovereign and good and true and pure and right.

Be lifted higher Jesus. Be lifted higher.

You are stronger. You are stronger. Sin is broken. You have saved me. It is written. Christ is risen. Jesus you are Lord of all. So let Your name be lifted higher and higher and higher. No matter what. As I become lower and lower and lower. As I die to my sinful self.

God no matter what You are the Hope in this dark time.

I saw the hope. It's been so sad and gloomy and cloudy and depressing the past week. The sun hasn't come out and I haven't even see the sky. But I looked outside and for the briefest moment I saw blue sky peak out.

Darkness may last for the night, but JOY comes in the morning.

Our God is greater, Our God is stronger. God you are higher than any other. Our God is healer. Awesome in power. Our God. So if our God is for us. Then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Great is His faithfulness. His mercies are new every morning.

Those who HOPE in the Lord will never ever be put to shame.

You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. You are the everlasting God. You do not faint, you won't grow weary. Our God you reign forever. Our HOPE our strong deliverer.

No matter what, I am determined to run fast and hard. To forsake the things of this world for the GLORY and HOPE of what is to come. Because Jesus loves me enough to die a sinner's death upon a cross. For Derek.