Through Fire.

The last couple weeks are not what I thought they would be. I thought they would be filled with God. But no, I got distracted instead. I chose to put myself and my expectations and relationships first. They took top priority over God.

Tonight I had to be set free from those distractions.

So God, I thank you for where you have brought me tonight. I praise you for Your grace. I feel surrounded by it. God, I'm sorry for this place I'm in. Forgive me for my lack of dependence on You. Forgive me for thinking I can take things into my own hands Jesus.

Jesus take me to that place of utter dependence and satisfaction on You alone. Everything else is meaningless. Jesus I can't come to that spot by myself. I am weak, and You are strong. God I say that I'm scared that I'll wake up tomorrow and that fear will overtake me. I don't want to be dependent or needy. I want to run after you God.

God I choose to run after You. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm in this unfamiliar place, so Jesus take me and refine me. If he needs to go then close that door. Lord guide us.

No. God I don't need him. I need you. It's like in Hebrews. "Let us throw off everything that hinders us, all the sin that so easily entangles us."

God guard my heart against the cares of this world.

Jesus I praise you for Your grace. I praise you that even in this time of confusion and chaos and pain and heartache that You are here.

There is freedom in surrender.

I praise you for your unfailing love. Your compassionate heart. Thank you for calling me Beloved. Thank You JESUS! I will praise you even though I can't see.

In a few short hours I am going to wake up and God I'm scared. Lord I'm reminded that "What matters to me; matters to God." So, "Cast all of your cares upon Him, because He cares for you."

God you care for me, and Lord I want to fall in love with you completely. Teach me Your ways oh Lord, so I may walk in Your truth. So that I may find freedom. I'm tired of always putting up those walls. God storm the walls of my heart.

"The enemy has been defeated. Death couldn't hold You down. I'm going to lift my voice in victory."

Jesus sweep me away. Take me deeper Jesus.

deeper

deeper

deeper

God I lay before you Alex. All the feelings, all the emotions, worries, fears, thoughts. I lay it before your throne. I lay my friendships down. I lay school down. My Terra Firma group. My priorities. My mind. My heart. My body. My actions. ALL of me. Every facet, every utterance. I give it to you Jesus.

I am not my own. I was bought at a price. Nothing else matters. Just You and me.

If God is the blazing center of the solar system of our lives, then all the planets will be held in their proper orbit. But if not, everything goes awry."- John Piper

God may I walk in Your spirit. I feel so extremely all over the place. Not even those thoughts but bring me to that place of complete and utter dependence. Break me God. Bring me to that place of redemption. Of brokeness. Of solace. Of hope. Of joy. Of love. Of grace. Of peace. Of authenticity. Of truth. Of self-control.

Change my thinking. My thoughts. My mindset. My hearts longings. Refocus God. Humble me. Be my rock. Be my joy. God give me strength to say no to those longings of the flesh.

Oh God. You are SO SO SO good. You bring me back. You bring me back to that realization and knowing that I need you. God may my motives be pure. And if they aren't change them Holy Spirit. Father I am nothing. My life is meaningless if you aren't the center of my universe.

Take me deeper.

Take me deeper.

Refine me. Mold me. Change me. Renew me. Take me. Hold me. Love me.

Even though it's painful. May I hold nothing back or for myself.
THANK YOU JESUS. ALL PRAISE AND GLORY AND HONOR AND POWER BELONG TO YOU OH JESUS.

May it be so.

May Your will be done.

Amen.